It took me close to 4 months to read Judah Smith’s, “How’s Your Soul”. I would read until something struck me deep and then I would stop and chew on that thing for as long as I needed for it to sink deep and God to show me what He wanted me to get out of that piece. Some days I could get through a whole page or more before I had to stop. Some days I couldn’t even make it past the first sentence in the paragraph and I would have to close the book and just sit with God and chew and wrestle. That book followed me all through the house. From my night stand, to my desk, to the kitchen and everywhere in between. Everyday when I would I walk by the book, I’d see the title on the cover and it was if God was asking me that question each time, “Hey Caroline, how’s your soul?”. For the first few months my reply was, “not so great, but hey, thanks for asking” (for those who know me well, you know this was said with much sarcasm). Yes, I would actually talk to the book. No, it never talked back. Rude book. During the last month and throughout the last few chapters that answer slowly started to change. I started to respond, “Well actually, my soul is feeling a bit better today.”. And as I finished up the book and my 18 month period of God pulling me away from everything and resting my soul and teaching me, my answer became, “It’s doing pretty darn great. Thanks for asking!” (This time without the sarcasm). I love how God used this random book that literally somehow just fell into my lap, to grow me closer to Him, to sanctify me, to rest my soul.
“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart I will be found by you”, declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” Jeremiah 29:11-14
Oh how this verse was an anchor for my soul to cling to during my 18 month healing journey. I constantly had to remind myself that God had a plan for me. He has great things for my future. I knew deep down in my aching soul that God was not finished working on me or using me for His kingdom yet. I didn’t have to know what His next steps for me were going to be. I just needed to trust His word that the steps would be to give me hope and a future. He called me to seek Him, not just for a little awhile, but constantly, not just partially, but with my whole heart. And when I seek Him, I find Him. I find Him sitting patiently waiting for me to turn my focus off of myself and on to Him. Oh how sweet it is to be so loved by God.
How’s your soul today, my friends? Is God calling you into a time of rest and healing? Are you kicking and screaming and arguing with Him about it or are you heeding His call and taking the time to rest? One of the most important things that I have learned is that soul rest is not a one and done thing. It is something that needs to be ongoing. I have learned the importance of taking the time out of my crazy life to stop and rest my soul and seek God with my whole heart so that I don’t lose sight of Him and His plan for my life.
It has been almost 2 years since God called me away from ministry and counseling. He has done so much in me through this 2 year period. Looking back I wish I wouldn’t have fought Him so much on it all, but you live and learn and grace...He always has an abundance of grace to pour over me. Over the last few months God called me out of my time of rest and has given me my marching orders. It has been a whirlwind the last few months and I can’t wait to share with you all what He has in store! But, you will have to wait until next week. Hahaha I know that’s not very nice of me, but I am still working on the finishing touches and want to get those done before I let the cat out of the bag. In the meantime, go grab yourself a cup of tea or coffee or a Dr. Pepper and spend some time with God answering the question, “how’s my soul?”.
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